Had a really good day today! Up quite early, managed to transfer in to the shower chair and then, when I’d finished with that, in to the power chair reasonably quickly. Then I had tablet and toast for breakfast and washed down with a cup of tea. Now I was ready for the day ahead. Had a visit from one of my mates from the Territorial Army (T.A) this morning. We had a good old chinwag and he spent a bit of time playing toys with my youngest, well, he is one of her two GodFathers so he is allowed to play with the toys! After a bit more of a chat about not a lot of this and quite a lot of the other, I asked him if he fancied a “walk” up town.

He has a bit of a limp after a while as his foot is a bit knackered, I still tell him it’s old age but he swears it isn’t. To be fair, he joined the regular Army as a boy soldier when he was sixteen, when he left he joined the T.A so has been in the uniform from sixteen to now.  I`m not 100% sure of his actual age but he is definately over forty and he’s been doing the Army thing for all those years, so to be fair, bits of his body are beginning to pack up bless him. However, he ain’t getting sympathy from this callsign, oh no, you can walk so man up son! All joking aside though I could see it was uncomfortable for him so, in a true military sympathy way….I turned the speed up on my power chair and went to the shop at the very top of town!

We spent quite a long time up the town really, post office and model shop and the printers, it was really nice to get out and chat though. I have to be driven by others until I get an assesment sorted out to see if I’m allowed to, and then I have to wait to get a vehicle that is converted for me to drive myself. To that end, I can’t always get to the T.A on parade night but when I can, I do. This is why it was so nice to have my mate round today, it was a chance to catch up on the happenings and stay in the loop. On the way back to the bungalow, we went down to Tesco so I could get something I needed to cook my Paella tonight for me and the Mother in Law. I like it but no one else in my family does, so I invite the M-i-L raound to help me eat it.

In Tesco I bumped in to a couple of the local Police, I have an idea about taking what is left of my bike and leathers, with a presentation to schools sixth form or colleges to highlight the dangers of riding their little 50cc scooters in the summer with no sensible safety gear. How many of them do I see when the sun is out with flip flops, shorts and tee shirts on, and all the time I see them with the chin strap undone on their crash helmet. It’s not cool to do it up. Well, it’s even less cool to be in a wheelchair, and at sixteen you’ve done NOTHING. I just want to try to prevent any of them ending up like me, and I had the right stuff on! The Police are still sorting things at the moment but I really do hope that I get their support to do it. When we finally got back to the bungalow, my mate had to go, judging by how he was limping, I reckon he had an early night bless him!

I had a few messages about yesterdays Blog today aswell. I’m glad that I did, and I’m glad that they said what they did. It means a couple of things, firstly that there are some people reading it, but secondly, people are taking on board and thinking about how things have changed for me. I’m in bed again, meaning another night of unbroken sleep as far as is possible for my wife. In a moment I will watch some more NCIS, (I love that programme), but before I go, I want to leave you with what I hope will be something for you to think about. It will be something I will revisit again shortly but for now I leave you with this…..

My Commanding Officer would visit me in the spinal unit on a pretty regular basis, the last time he visited me before his posting as C.O finished and he started a new posting he thanked me for the conversations we had had, it had given him knowlege of how much different things were now I was in a wheelchair and with the injuries I had sustained. He then asked me a question.    “If you had one piece of advice about people in wheelchairs, what would it be?”     I replied quite simply with this.   “Sir, you are a Colonel, I am a Serjeant, therefore by sheer rank alone I HAVE to look up to you.”   His reply after a short silence was, “I`m so sorry, it didn’t cross my mind.”

Goodnight all.

Got up earlier this morning compared to yesterday, even though it was 02.30 before I finished watching the episodes of NCIS I had on Sky plus. I wrote a list yesterday of stuff I needed to do today, which mainly consisted of phone calls. So, after breakfast and the usual tablet, I got on the phone to start ticking things off of the list.

First was a real important one, inform my surgeons receptionist that it would not be a good idea for me to have the operation to remove the metal form my arm until after the 20th October because of my skydive. She was really chatty when she heard I was doing the jump, she told me of the one she did out of Dunkerswell, reckoned it was amazing at that I would love it. She let me know as well that an appointment letter had gone out and that the date was after the jump. Good news and the first thing was ticked off of the list.

Next was the call back to the spinal unit. I`m glad I did, the secretary let me know that the consultant had not come back to her after my call yesterday and that she did not believe he was in today. Long story short though, she called me back to say that my Doctor at my local surgery should prescribe me something but that she would get the consultant to call the Doctor to let him know. So, now the question was firmly planted in my head, what the hell do I need a consultant for. This has been the final nail in the coffin for me and so that led me to write another thing on the list.

After several other menial taskings and some e mails out to various places, I had a snack lunch with my youngest who was back from nursery. Then, later in the afternoon, I called my friend and said I was popping round for a coffee. Whenever possible, we “walk” to Ilminster down the cycle path to a nice pup called The Stonemasons, it’s about five miles which my power chair does with no problems and will get back easily, however we normally get picked up by my wife when she is collecting the kids from school. Last week I did it for the first time, under the power of me, in my manual chair. I needed a drink when we got there believe me and did I ever sleep well that night! Today we couldn’t go to Ilminster though so a coffee at her place was what we settled for.

The two eldest of our kids have swimming lessons, so me and my friend “walked” up to the swimming pool to meet them and watch them swim. This meant that my wife could go and get tea ready in time for us to get back. I try to get the kids to walk back whenever possible, it gives us a chance to chat and prevents wifey from having to come get us. When we get in, it’s only an hour or so before my wife goes swimming with her friend so it works out well. After she had gone swimming tonight, the kids and I sorted the dishes and clothes washing and drying and then, once we got my youngest to bed, the kids did their homework and I set about the final thing on my list.

I have decided that I am not happy with the “help” or lack of that I have received for my spinal injury and have taken the decision to write to the unit informing them of my disappointment and my desire to be removed from their patient list and referred to another where someone else I know is having much more success.

After all the bits and bobs were sorted, and the kids were in bed, wifey came home and finished up the last few things that I am unable to do. Tonight I have come to bed at the same time as my wife. I don’t normally, I’ll stay up and watch tele, read or build my models. This does mean though that my wife has to get up to put me to bed at whatever time I decide to hit the sack. Unfair really as this means she has broken sleep, but it is a nightmare for me going to bed. It’s uncomfortable when I get in because of the spasms I have, it has other massive drawbacks for me which destroy the positivity I spend all day portraying, and possibly the biggest thing for me… I miss my cuddles.

I am no longer able to lie on my side and cuddle up to my wife. I lost my civilian job, I have double vision some of the time, I can’t walk or do lots of things I used to enjoy, I can live with that. There is one thing I miss more than a lot of the other things, one of the best things in the world that is now missing in my life, that has been taken from me by someone who wouldn’t know that it’s gone and possibly wouldn’t care, and that is going to sleep cuddling my wife. You may think that is a bit of a soft thing to say, but until you can’t do it, you’ll never know what it’s like. I can tell you though, if you love your other half, it’s crap.

Goodnight all.