Tick, Tock.

I didn’t get a flying scholarship. I was called by the manager of the charity to let me know and the reason why, which to cut a long story short, was because I did not lack in my confidence. I had enough self confidence to share around and that I was a `giver` not a `taker`. All three of these comments I was very pleased with to be fair. I had been asked many questions in my `interview` and I answered each with honesty which is without doubt why I was not allocated one of the scholarship placements which I would really have loved to have secured as I wanted to fly right back when I was a child having grown up around aircraft. I was asked to reapply for next year and initially I had said yes but on thinking about it over a few days since the phone call, I decided against the application. You may be thinking that it is a silly decision but I realised after my conversation with charity that the scholarships are designed as far as I could make out, to be allocated to people who are lacking in self confidence, self worth, self esteem and severely disabled. This is not 100% in line with those whom were fortunate enough to be given a scholarship, but also I think there were some who maybe told the board what they wanted to hear. I am simply not able to do such things and will tell it how it is. As a result I e mailed the charity to say that I had very much enjoyed the few days at RAF Cranwell and had met a few really nice people and had enjoyed a few really good laughs with some of them. I thanked them for the opportunity but informed them that I would not be looking to reapply as I will always be a confident person and that if I were to be short listed for interviews again, I would simply be taking the opportunity of a scholarship from someone who would stand more of a chance as my confidence would be such that I would not be deemed to be `in need` of the scholarship. I would recommend disabled people to apply for it and think it is a very worthwhile thing but it is not something I would try for again having been through the process once already, I would rather let others try.

The moving out clock is now ticking away. My Wife and children will be moving out in just short of a couple of weeks now that my Wife has secured a suitable property for rent. It is at the other end of the town but as it is still in town and so I will be able to see my kids without having to drive miles to do so. It will mean I can also meet them after school and they can come to mine for tea if they want to. `Pickle` will be the only one that is not able to spend time with me as I am unable to help her if she gets in to any difficulty. Similarly I will not be able to take her out for days out in case she was to go in to the road or near to the sea depending on where I went and of course it would be dangerous when it was time to get out of the car as I have to get my wheelchair out and assembled which takes a little time and she could potentially get out of the car while I am concentrating on getting myself out. It will only be for a few years though and then I may be able to. The two older ones will be able to stay overnight if they want to but again, this would not be the case with `Pickle`, a bit crap but her safety has to come first.

Not been doing a lot else really, Wifey has been packing up her stuff and the stuff from the kitchen she’ll be taking, and boxing up things like ornaments and stacking them up in the extension room. It sounds like she has plenty of help when it is move time which should help her massively. Obviously her Mother will be in helping her clean the place before the boxes start to be moved which by the sounds of it will be my Brother and Step Brother and their Wives, using the Chucklebus will mean that she won’t have to hire a vehicle either so that should keep costs to an absolute minimum for her.

I was hoping to go out today and had almost planned a trip to the forest or beach but as usual it is pissing down and whilst skin is waterproof and the weather never bothered me too much when I was on exercise with the Army or indeed before my accident when I could walk, I don’t bother going out when it is raining any more because it is such a miserable feeling when your crotch is soaking wet because that is where the rain gathers when it runs off of your coat. The kids had been really looking forward to going out and so they have gone out with Wifey for a while. I am not sure if they will be back here at all this afternoon because they are going to the Mother in Laws for a roast meal and so will more than likely go straight there. A quiet, almost silent bungalow for most of the day then, which will be the norm after they move out.

So a boring entry really I’m afraid. I can’t think that it is going to get much more exciting either unfortunately. I want so desperately to do more things to raise money for the charities that helped me but seem to hit walls when I try to organise them. The abseil is still coming up with “No’s” but I will eventually find somewhere high enough for people to want to sponsor me to do it I am sure. If all goes well I will attempting the Pen Y Fan in Wales in the next half term which will then give me a good idea of the chance of success for the 3 Peaks Challenge. If the 3 Peaks is not likely then I will maybe look at doing individual `peaks` instead. Who ever would have thought that you could come up against such problems wanting to help charities eh? Shocking. Anyway, I hope that all is good with everyone. Enjoy the rain people.



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